Sometimes I feel like I'm a kid again.

A skinny Philly kid.

Buckteeth.

Big hair.

Hiding.

Bullied.

Taking my glasses off in the morning so I wouldn't be "four-eyes."

Then I just became "Eyes."

Somehow my eyes were 20/20 for a while.

Then I needed glasses again in med school.

I got those John Lennon ones.

Still a skinny Philly kid.

Just a skinny Philly kid in med school.

Same stuff, different school.

Except for no bullies.

I could bully myself now.

Trying to be perfect.

Pulling all-nighters.

Procrastinating.

Being so hard on myself.

Then I went into practice.

Still a skinny Philly kid.

Now transplanted in southern California.

Same stuff, different state.

Perfectionism tearing me apart.

Until I learned forgiveness.

How to forgive myself.

How to have self-compassion.

Now I'm a skinny Philly kid with a Buddha-belly.

That happened once the kid turned forty.

Now I love that skinny Philly kid.

And the gut.

And the big hair.

All the imperfections.

Finally learned how to dance with it all.

And dance with joy.