It was so hard to feel good.
I was worried about my health every single day.
My partners were fighting like the Kardashians.
No matter what happened, something new symptom popped up.
My immune system was down.
Then I got nasty skin cancer.
I felt like I was at the end of my life.
I saw specialists.
I was a specialist seeing specialists.
Stress was making everything worse.
Exacerbating a vicious cycle of imbalance.
My body was on high alert all the time.
My rock bottom body.
I had to admit my life was out of control.
I had to surrender.
To something I knew in my soul but had forgotten in my monkey brain.
I had to do anything in my power to reverse the vicious cycle.
To transmute it into a virtuous cycle.
That thing was transcendental meditation.
I meditated twenty minutes twice a day.
At first, I'd have to do it in my car to prevent distractions.
In the evening, I feel the pent up emotions and stress melt during those first TM sessions.
It was the first superpower I'd experienced in years.
I slowly starting living rather than merely surviving.
I had to embrace the fact that I was slowly killing myself.
This can be a hard concept to embrace.
I have to remember how I felt back then.
To remind me how easy it can be to slip back into darkness.
A tiny daily reminder.
To be vigilant.
To keep practicing.
To feel a tiny bit better than yesterday.
To appreciate everything.
To be present.