Ask yourself this: Do I really listen?
Fortunately, good listening is not difficult to master. It starts with you recreating what has been said to you. This is the most powerful way for someone to actually experience that you’ve understood their words.
All you have to do is repeat the gist of what was communicated right back to them when they’re done. Then ask, “Did I miss anything you wanted to convey or misinterpret anything?” Be simple and direct and straight. “This is what you said, this is what I heard, and this is any meaning I’m making out of it.” Repeating what’s being said to you, saying, “I hear you–you’re saying that you are in pain.” That means you not only heard it, but you processed it.
Finally, you need to ask, “How does all of this sit with you? Where is your head at regarding our communication and our listening to one another? How could we improve our speaking and listening with each other?" Then, listen to the answers without interrupting.